On Cloud 009
by paperazzi
Summary: Shikamaru is in trouble. He's trapped in prison with a madman as his cellmate and doesn't have any idea what to expect. So of course he doesn't expect...love? ShikamaruxOC written for Alyssa009
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: This is the first chapter of a fic written for Alyssa009. Its been written about halfway, deleted and is being rewritten now as a multi-chap, just to get it to her. _

**_Chapter 1:_**

**_Auspicious Beginnings_**

The sun was shining; the birds were chirping; dozens of clouds floated lazily past a tall hill in the center of Konohagakure. An indentation in the grass in roughly the shape of a slight, spiky haired ninja ruffled in the cool afternoon breeze. In short, it was a perfect day for cloud watching. Except there was no one to watch.

Nara Shikamaru was pushed roughly across the threshold of the dingy Kumogakure jail cell. Ignoring the gruff guard's treatment of him, he straightened his ruffled shirt and cast his coal-black eyes around. A bunked bed to his right, spiders crawling from the unused, uncovered mattress on the top bunk; a single sink in the opposite corner, its knobs mildewed and rusted; a man sitting on the lower bunk, all pale skin, broad shoulders and bulging muscle and matted, graying hair falling wildly around his eyes.

"Hey, you. You're standing in my light, eh?"

Shikamaru blinked, noticing the man was holding a book out deliberately so that the konoha nin's shadow fell across it.

He was trying to intimidate him. Shikamaru recognized his motives and his mind instantly extrapolated a hundred different situations.

Most of them ended with him gaining bit too much information about the truths behind prison rumors.

But Shikamaru was nothing if not a problem solver and he knew instantly that he had to show himself superior. If he moved his body out of the way, he would instantly be labeled as the 'bitch.' More troublesome than that, however, was the fact that he felt extremely disinclined to move further into the cell _at all_. No spot he could see would offer him any more comfort than exactly where he was at the moment so, naturally, he moved his shadow instead.

The man's eyes bulged when Shikamaru's shadow leapt neatly to the side, exposing his pages to the dim fluorescent light. He could no more mold his chakra to make his shadow attack the man than he could escape at that moment, but there was no reason to _tell him_ that.

"Problem?" Shikamaru asked, as toughly as he could muster. It wasn't hard to act tough. He just had to imagine how Hidan had behaved before he'd blown him to smithereens.

"Nah, no trouble," the man replied, going back to his book and looking around nervously. "But they'll put you in solitary if they catch you doin' that, eh?"

Shikamaru's eye twitched. This guy's speech was quite annoying, and far more so than Ino's whiny prattle or Naruto's constant, loudmouthed complaining (not that he was one to talk about complaining). He didn't know how much more he could take.

"So you're," the man said after about five minutes. "You're one of them ninjers, eh?"

Shikamaru stared, saying nothing. He considered correcting the man's grammar, but deemed even that small act troublesome. He would probably be broken out in a week, tops. There was no need to tell his cellmate anything.

Shikamaru said nothing, but leaned back against the cell bars, scanning for some sort of weakness in the structure. He found none.

"You're not gonna wanna be doin' that t'soon, eh?" the man said without looking up from his book. "Its bout two a'clock and me daughter will b'comin round yonder."

The shadow nin felt as if his head was about to explode. "Please, stop talking," he finally said. "I like quiet."

"Don't say me didn't warn ye, eh?"

"I'll take my chances."

He fell silent going, back to his reading and Shikamaru thought back over what he had said. _His daughter? Who in the hell would want to procreate with him?_

He was busy constructing a mental image of the most disgusting woman he could possibly imagine when a hard poke jerked him out of his reverie. A hard poke to his rear. Near_ that_ area.

"Aah!" he yelped, leaping across the cell, and plastering himself to the far wall. He whirled around, expecting to see some burly man eyeing him like a piece of meat, but only saw a girl standing at the cell doors with an annoyed looking guard behind her. A beautiful girl.

_How troublesome_, Shikamaru thought, knowing that his tough-guy act was effectively over.

And worse yet she was laughing. Giggling, more accurately, with a small hand covering her mouth.

"Heheehehehee," his cellmate cackled. "I told ye she be coming."

Shikamaru's expression turned stony and he hoisted himself up onto the bed as the guard and the girl stepped into the room. He flicked a centipede away from the rock-hard pillow and examined the girl from the corner of his eye.

She had dark skin, common of the Kumogakure ninja he'd seen, but it was a smooth, creamy shade of brown that he'd never seen before. She wore a simple tunic he'd seen a dozen times before in the village, but it clung to her curves and seemingly lured his eyes to follow. Long black hair fell from her shouders and stopped at her waist, the dark curls shimmering softly. Her eyes, by contrast were bright green, wide and expressive. Right now, they were expressing amusement. At him.

He blushed and rolled away, staring at the ceiling with his hands behind his head. _She's way too pretty,_ he thinks to himself, watching an ant dip through the crevices of the craggy ceiling. _So not my type._

"Your new cellmate is funny, daddy," she said, sitting on the bed next to the odd man and speaking a little too loudly. "And cute too."

Shikamaru's cheeks burned again and he rolled to face the wall, his arms covering his ears.

"Yah, he's a ninjer too, eh? Didja know that?"

"No," she purred, standing on the edge of the bunk. Shikamaru could feel the weight of her forearms pressing against the corner of his bed. A small finger tapped his shoulder twice. "Hey, handsome. You're a ninja? Where from?"

Shikamaru said nothing, purposely ignoring the girl, but she persisted. "I've never met a foreign ninja before. Are they all as cute as you?"

His face twisted into a deeper frown, but still he said nothing.

"I especially," She began slowly, her voice now holding a slight edge of annoyance at being ignored. "Like your foreign _butt_."

"Aah!" Once again, a finger pressed against his posterior and he yelped and jerked forward. That had the unfortunate consequence of bringing his head solidly in contact with the rock wall and it bounced off with a sharp _CRACK!_

"Ohmigoodness!" the girl exclaimed, throwing her hands over her mouth as he rolled onto his back, clutching his forehead.

"So troublesome," he muttered. "I hate prison."

"It gets worser!" piped the man from below.

"Much," the girl agrees before jumping down. "Nice to meet you, foreign-ninja-prisoner."

Shikamaru closed his eyes again, wondering why she felt the need to insert everything she knew about him into one title. It was humiliating.

"I have a name," he found himself volunteering. "Shikamaru. Don't call me anything else, please."

"Sure, Shika," she said, then giggled at the unintended alliteration.

After that he was left well enough alone as she talked with her father and read the book aloud to him. Shikamaru couldn't decide which was more annoying, being poked in the rear repeatedly or the girl reading quite expressively a children's tale about a cat and some godforsaken hat. He settled on being poked.

After exactly one hour, the guard finally spoke. "Visiting time is over, Jada. You'll have to finish next time."

They trudged out the door and Jada couldn't resist one final jab at the shadow nin. "Bye bye, handsome. Me an my finger will see you later."

He grimaced and rolled his eyes while the guard slid the cell shut and locked it.

_Jada_, Shikamaru thinks to himself, wondering if he will make it to her next visit. He'd heard stories of how hard it was to protect your innocence in Kumo prisons, and while they weren't as bad as the tales he'd heard from Kiri ones, he had to be honest with himself, he wasn't doing to well. He'd already been poked in the rear twice by a visiting girl. He didn't even want to see what the actual prisoners would do.

As if to shove Shikamaru's fear directly in his face, the guard returned just a moment later. "Up you get! Shower time!"

* * *

><p><em>To Alyssa009: Hope you like it so far. I've got a lot of stuff on my plate, so i cant promise fast updates, but i'll do my best!<em>


	2. Chapter 2

_Just for you Alyssa09_

**Chapter 2**

It was official. This was hell incarnate. Shikamaru looked blandly at the group of men standing before him, all of them taller, far more muscular and looking quite unruly. He couldn't show them that he was afraid, but the lack of chakra flowing through him worried him immensely. Now he wished he had trained like Rock Lee, improving his strength without using chakra to help.

"Come on, kid, its just an initiation," One man cajoled, cracking his knuckles as he stepped forward.

"He don't even look scared Renji," another man offered in a thundering baritone. He was taller and more muscular than the rest of the men and looked a helluva lot meaner. "You scared _boy_?"

He emphasized the last word to make it sound like the world's worst insult. Even the stoic Shikamaru gulped just a tiny bit at this. The men laughed uproariously.

Shikamaru watched their movements with minute precision, examining potential joint weaknesses, favored limbs, and probable fighting ability. He wasn't about to out-muscle them, that was for sure, and he couldn't beat them with even the simplest of Jutsu, as the strange force field surrounding the prison had completely nullified his chakra the moment he'd arrived. His only hope of victory was through superior speed, training and precision.

He mapped out his path through the room, playing out the fight a hundred different ways behind his coal black eyes, but every time he got to the overlarge man leaning against the wall his plan faltered. He hadn't moved, so clearly he knew what Shikamaru was doing. He betrayed no information about his own capabilities so any strike from him was a surprise. Not knowing his actual ability, Shikamaru assigned him the physical threat rating he'd previously saved for only Naruto, Rock Lee and Might Guy; Abso-fucking-lutely insane (avoid fighting at any cost).

He gulped again as his calculating eyes met with the other man's.

"Boys," the deep voiced, dangerous man called out, "He's not helpless. You might want to watch-"

Shikamaru moved, racing before the warning was completed. His right knee slammed into the closest man's crotch and his right elbow came sideways across his body. The man doubled over, as expected and Shikamaru's elbow caught him full in the temple. _One down._

"Holy shi-" Another man started. An uppercut silenced him instantly as his mouth CLACKED shut. A spray of blood lit the air as the tip of his tongue sailed away from his falling body.

A third man lunged from behind him and Shikamaru pivoted his right foot, driving his left into the man's throat in a vicious side-kick.

A fist connected with the shadow nin's temple and he saw stars, but kept his balance, letting the momentum carry him into a low sweep kick. His assailant tripped, surprise in his features as Shikamaru kept up the spin and brought his foot across the man's face in a perfectly timed roundhouse.

By now, the remaining prisoners were watching him warily, unsure of whether to attack or even whether they would have more success than the last group.

Three men shuffled away from the Konoha ninja who wasn't even sweating after that small exertion. The one who had last been kicked was unconscious on the ground. Finally the large man standing on the wall began to clap, slowly at first, then harder until all of the men began following suit, some of them chuckling nervously. It was obvious that only he knew why he was clapping.

"Impressive, boy. Those moves aren't too shabby, though your taijutsu needs a bit of work. A chuunin maybe?"

Shikamaru glared at him past the slight pain growing in his temple. "Just who are you anyway?"

"I'm sorry, where are my manners?" the man spread his arms wide in appeal, finally standing and moving closer. Shikamaru took an involuntary step backward. He moved with the fluid grace of a tiger, entirely silent as his feet glided across the concrete floor.

"No need to be afraid," the man said, holding his hand out to shake. "I doubt I myself could take you down after that display. You may call me Aruza."

Shikamaru's eyes narrowed, not believing him for a second. He looked like he could take on the Raikage. His chakra levels might tell a different story, but in _this _prison, chakra meant as much as the weather in a fight.

"Aruza," Shikamaru replied cautiously. "I'm Shikamaru."

Aruza blinked. "Would that be Nara Shikamaru?"

Now it was the shadow nin's turn to be surprised. "Cautiously, yes."

"Your fame preceeds you," he replied. "Word is you were offered a position as the Fire Daimyo's bodyguard as a child, and two years later you defeated an akatsuki single-handedly."

"I wasn't alone," he replied stiffly. "I had my friends. And Kakashi. I wouldn't have been able to do it without them."

"Lies," Aruza replied casually. "You would have come up with a different strategy, would you not? I hear you're quite the grandmaster at Shogi."

Shikamaru took another step away from this man. He was entirely too well informed. He needed to know why, but there was no way to interrogate him or get a confession.

He decided on the direct approach. "How do you know all this?"

Aruza, expectedly, just smiled.

"He used ta be the Raikage's advisor, he did," spoke a voice from the back of the showers. "Then some political wheelin' and dealin' happened and BAM! Here he is. Heh. Funny ain't it?"

"Aww, shutup Ed," one of the prisoners shouted, his face instantly going sour. "It ain't your business to tell."

Shikamaru was mortified to see his cellmate wander around the corner, and stride confidently through the pack of half-naked men as if he were cutting in line at a grocer's. He stopped, fully clothed and soaking wet from head to toe, right in front of Shikamaru.

"This here's my cellie, Aruza, ya can' have 'im." He clapped his hand forcefully on Shikamaru's shoulder and his knees bent with the surprising weight of his hand.

Wondering how this strange man could be hiding such strength so effectively, Shikamaru briefly wondered what he meant by 'can't have him.' Aruza seemed to be just a step behind.

"Wait a minute…did you say I can't have him or I can?"

"I said you can'."

Aruza blinked. "Fucking accent," he muttered, assuming the former was true. "Whatever. Show's over, lets go boys."

The man waved his hand and two prisoners lifted the still unconscious man and carried him roughly out of the showers. Shikamaru quirked his eyebrow when he watched them stride confidently past the guard outside the door, who didn't even ask why the man was KO'd.

"What just happened?" Shikamaru asked instantly, as soon as they were alone. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around himself, finally able to spare a thought for modesty. He'd been there a grand total of thirty hours and before his first shower, he'd been poked twice in the butt. In his second shower, he'd been mugged while naked.

He was beginning to dislike shower time.

"Aruza's like the head bronco around here, eh?" Ed began, losing Shikamaru almost instantly as he trudged back to his clothes.

"The head what? What's a bronco?"

"Those slimy thuggish characters are his posse," Ed continued, as if he hadn't heard him.

"Posse?"

"If you wan' somethin' illegal, Aruza's got it, eh? He'll getcha drugs, sex, alcohol, drugs…hell, even a hamburger."

"Hamburger?"

"Only thing he can' getcha is out, eh? What do we really want? A lotta the guys jus' follow him around, hopin' to be there on the day he blows the joint, eh!"

Shikamaru gave up trying to understand his odd choice of words, instead focusing on dressing. He dropped the towel and began to pull up his shorts when Ed finally said something he understood.

"Oh look! Jada's here, eh!"

"AAAH!"

The shadow nin leapt nearly a foot into the air as a finger came dangerously close to a place that it never should go. He threw his hand over his junk, flushing furiously. "What the hell! How did you get into the mens shower?"

"Hi, Shika!" Jada said, smiling broadly and winking. "Nice outfit."

"You didn't answer my question," Shikamaru grumbled, hurrying into his clothes.

"Ah, don' be silly, boy!" Ed volunteered. "This is a prison! Yeh ain't got neh rights!"

Jada just clasped her hands behind her back and nodded enthusiastically, smiling from ear to ear all the while.

"Troublesome…Do you mind telling me why you tried to rape me a second ago?" Shikamaru complained, heading for the door.

Jada nodded again, her smile not faltering for a moment. "Mmm hmm! 'Cause you're cute!"

Mortified at the fact that being cute was all it took to get raped around these parts, Shikamaru hurried away before any of the other male prisoners still showering got any ideas.

To his extreme frustration, the pair followed him back to the cell. He climbed in his bunk and wisely pressed his butt against the concrete wall.

Ed beamed at him. "Now yer learnin', eh!" he exclaimed. "But don't let the fellas next door find out! That Takiose fella has a metal spoon, he'll dig right through!"

Jada laughed loudly at the expression of horror that dawned on Shikamaru's face. "He's kidding," she explained. "He'd have been long gone if all you needed was a spoon to get through these walls."

Somehow, that wasn't comforting and Shikamaru moved what he thought was a safe distance from the wall anyway. Jada smirked.

To his immense surprise, she leapt up onto the bed beside him, resting her chin in her hands and focused those big green eyes on him. Shikamaru felt his face flush. "Go away," he mumbled, afraid to turn away from her.

She shook her head. "Nope. You're interesting and you've got no rights, as dad pointed out earlier. I like it right here."

She flicked at an ant that got too close to her elbow.

Now thoroughly annoyed, Shikamaru sighed heavily. "Okay, then explain this; How come you get to run around here and do whatever you want to?"

"Oh," Jada smiled again. Its seemed to be her default expression around him. Truthfully, he didn't mind. Her smile was infectious, and something about it put him at ease. Maybe it was her carefree attitude.

Then her next words jerked him rudely out of his reverie.

"Daddy owns the prison."

"WHA-!" Shikamaru froze as his mind went into vaporlock. He could almost see the dreaded blue screen of death flashing onto his internal supercomputer.

"You said Ed was your father," he protested, not comprehending the situation.

"He is."

"But he's a prisoner!"

"No…he's your cellmate though."

"But he's _in prison_!"

Jada laughed again. "You're funny, Shika. My dad owns the prison. He can live here if he wants to. He just wanted to get to know his prisoners better."

"So how come you said he'd have escaped if it took a spoon to get out?" Shikamaru's mind refused to accept the notion that someone would _choose_ to live in a prison they _owned, _ so naturally he tried to come up with every reason not to.

"I didn't say he'd _escape._ I said he'd have _left_. The cafeteria uses metal spoons. What's the use of being in a prison where all the prisoners have broken out?"

"That's the stupidest logic _ever._" Shikamaru complained, rolling onto his back and covering his face.

"Well I like it," she protested, her face instantly dissolving into a pronounced pout. "Its unique."

"Its _insane_," he retorted. Then another thought crossed his mind. "So…I'm cellmates…with the warden?"

"No," Jada said, sighing heavily. "For a grandmaster at Shogi, you sure are slow. I said he's the owner. I guess the warden would be…me? Never gave it too much thought."

Shikamaru's astonished face slowly moved from beneath his elbow to meet hers. "How…"

Jada held up her hand. "Daddy said he wants it to be a family business, so I do all the paperwork and managerial stuff and mom used to take care of finances. She died last year though, so my little sister's been learning that stuff since."

Shikamaru couldn't believe his good fortune. He could use this in _so_ many ways. Then another thought crossed his mind.

"Why…if he knows that Aruza sneaks stuff in here…doesn't he do something about it?"

Jada shrugged. "Who cares, really? Let prisoners be prisoners is what he always says. Long as he does it, he won't be letting him out, so it's really Aruza's choice if he wants to change his ways."

Shikamaru weighed this idea in his head. In this utterly unique and farcical situation that didn't even seem possible to be trapped in – oh, but he _wasn't_ much longer- it did make a certain kind of sense.

"So you're the warden," Shikamaru began slowly.

"Yup. Pretty much."

"So can you…let me out?"

"Sure!" Ed called from below.

Shikamaru blinked.

"Shutup dad," Jada replied teasingly. "You know it isn't that easy."

"Heh heh! I sure wish it was. I'd have been out of here a looooong time ago, eh? Sippin' on Mohitos…"

The imprisoned genius let the statement slide, knowing if he tried to understand it he'd probably have some sort of aneurysm.

"It's a lot more complicated than just letting you out, you know," Jada said, returning her attention to Shikamaru. "For one, I don't know anything about you. If you came here as a spy or something, we can't just let you go."

Shikamaru's mouth twitched downward. He didn't think that would work, but the first move was _always_ a feint.

"I know!" Jada exclaimed suddenly. She leapt off the bed and jumped up and down in barely contained excitement. "Go out with me! And I'll let you out!"

"That's a great idea!" Ed piped up.

A dozen thoughts rushed through Shikamaru's head in the millisecond that followed but one thought needed…no…_demanded_ to be addressed before any other.

"It's a great idea for your _daughter_ to date _prisoners?" _Shikamaru asked Ed incredulously.

"Uh…well…" Ed faltered, "It sure seemed great a moment ago, I dunno why it doesn't now…"

"Come on, dad!" Jada argued. "Its great! I can get to know him and once I know he's not going to hurt Kumo, we'll let him go!"

"But what If I just lie to you?" Shikamaru argued, not even realizing that he was hurting his bid for freedom. Just asking to be let out was _not_ supposed to work! He had an entire plan laid out!

"Yeh don' seem like the type, eh? A liar person wouldn't argue that they might lie, 'cause everyone already know they might."

For a crazy person, Ed's logic sure was good.

Jada beamed, as if his statement had settled it. "Great! I'll pick you up at seven?"

Shikamaru's jaw worked soundlessly.

She giggled again, "You're cute, Shika. See you then!"

And she flounced out of the room, leaving Shikamaru completely and utterly dumbfounded.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Sorry for the long wait. I've got lots going on and have had almost no time to write __:'(__ I hope this makes up for it. _

Paperazzi 0uT!

l  
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	3. Chapter 3

_Sorry it wasn't posted earlier. My internets brokeded right before new yearz._

* * *

><p>"SHOWER TIME!" the guard yelled, dragging Shikamaru from his afternoon nap. Shikamaru shook his head and rolled over.<p>

"I'll pass."

"Nonsense!" Ed volunteered. "You've got a date later. Ye can' be skippin' yer cleanin rituals, eh?"

Shikamaru stared balefully, letting the force of his disdain carry through his expression to the man peering over his bunk.

"Fine, I guess ye' don' need t'make a good impression seein' as how yer' already a prisoner n'all."

Shikamaru blinked once, all the indication he was going to give that he had heard or understood the man at all.

The guard led Ed away and Shikamaru rolled back over, drifting asleep…until a pair of soft-almost imperceptible footsteps awakened him again. "What _now-"_

"Hey there, Nara." Aruza's deep growl froze Shikamaru in mid-sentence and he sat up quickly.

"What do you want?"

"Calm down, friend," Aruza replied, leaning casually against the cell door. "I want the same thing you do. To escape. To be outta here. And that's the one thing my connections can't buy in this place. Ed's bat-shit crazy, but he runs a damn tight ship. No one's escaped from here in almost thirteen years."

Shikamaru grunted, thinking only of escape now. This place was torturing his poor, logical mind and any reprieve from the madness would only be too welcome.

"Talk fast," he said, still not meeting Aruza's eyes.

The older man smiled broadly, "I've already got a plan ironed out. We've got the east wing guards paid handsomely to be…elsewhere…when this thing goes off. We're staging a riot. Tomorrow night. The chakra-suppression field is the target and for that we need to get upstairs. Equipment to scale the walls is being tossed over the fence tomorrow at yard time by our guards and we'll climb up to the roof and bust that sucker up while the guards deal with the rest of the prisoners. The rest is cake."

Shikamaru frowned. "Why do you need me? Sounds like you've got it all taken care of."

Aruza smirked. "We do. Except one little detail. Nothing's stopping Ed's little bitch from tripping the power to the secondary chakra suppressor unit. That one's underground and its usually off to save power, but one flick of a switch and the game is up. Word is that the girl is hot for you. You just have to get her down into this cell come game time and keep her busy. A ninja of your skill shouldn't have any trouble escaping on your own once we restore your chakra. Unless…you want to find out what Kumo's got waiting for you tomorrow."

Shikamaru stared at him, trying to gauge his honesty, but failed. The man was a hardened criminal. There was no way he was actually going to catch him in a lie until it was too late. On another note, though, what he'd just said rung a bell. What _did_ Kumo have waiting for him? He quirked an eyebrow and decided to try his luck. Asking had actually worked for him the last two times.

"What exactly _do_ they want to do with me?"

Aruza just smirked again and turned to leave. "Eight o'clock tomorrow, Nara," he called over his shoulder.

Shikamaru laid back down and closed his eyes with a heavy sigh. This just got worse and worse.

The sunset was just visible through the tiny window of his cell and Shikamaru watched it with a growing apprehension. His mind continuously circled the same question, never seeming to alight on an answer. Was this really happening? Did he just _happen_ to land in the most awkward situation in the _known universe?_

After nine hours of reflection on that exact question, Shikamaru finally had an anwer. No.

He frowned, demanding specifics from his brain. What question was the 'no' for? Was it happening? Was it the most awkward situation in the known universe or was his landing in it by happenstance?

His mind refused to elaborate, however, stonewalling him and granting him a definite 'no' to only one of the three questions.

Shikamaru groaned loudly. Not loudly enough to cover up Ed's snores, or the constant sniffling of the guard standing just outside their cell, though and only just loudly enough to cover the sound of the window popping free of its stone trapping. Shikamaru's eyes shot open, wide and surprised, and he stared at the gaping opening.

A light breeze swam through, passing its refreshing chill over the stuffy cell and carried a sound with it; _WHFF!_

To the untrained eye, nothing would have been seen entering the room, but Shikamaru's ninja senses watched a tiny dart flit through the new entryway and stick itself solidly in the back of the guard's neck.

He reached back and felt around, removing the projectile and examining it curiously. Then he crumpled to the ground unconscious.

"Hey. _PSST!_" the whisper came from the window and Shikamaru quickly stuck his head out, only to come face to face with none other than Jada herself, wearing a skintight catsuit and hanging from a rope that seemingly went up to the roof of the prison.

"Come on!" she whispered. "We don't have much time. I slipped some sleep pills into his dinner too, so he should be out until morning at least."

"What the _fuck_ is going on?" Shikamaru replied in a decidedly angry whisper. "Why are you breaking me out of your _own prison?_"

Jada didn't miss a beat. "I told you I was coming yesterday, and I can't exactly get _caught_ letting you out. I'd get fired, duh. Why are you arguing now? We have to hurry before the next patrol goes across the roof. Sixty four seconds. Get your foreign ass out here!"

"Leave my ass out of this!" Shikamaru retorted, involuntarily clenching his rear at the thought of exposing it to Jada again.

"Come _on!"_ she insisted, holding the rope out for him to grab.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and climbed out of the window, grabbing onto the rope and quickly scaling the wall.

Jada was right behind him and once she'd recovered her rope, she dashed across the roof, ducking between chimneys and guard spires and anything else she could use for cover to escape the light sweeping across in search of any prisoners trying to escape. Prisoners like Shikamaru.

He only took one second to examine her lithe body in the suit, her movements, silent and fast, almost… ninja-like…

And he was off, chasing her through the shadows. They arrived at another wall of the prison and climbed down before darting across the grounds to the outer fence.

The fifteen foot tall electrified fence.

"Uhh…" Shikamaru began, not seeing a way past this particular obstacle. "How are we supposed to-"

"Relax," Jada cut him off, dropping to her knees and feeling around the low grass for something. "I've had this all covered. A friend of mine does earth Jutsus so I had him dig us a tunnel."

"But you're the _warden_!" he protested loudly, his big, logical brain refusing to accept the absurdity of the situation.

"Hush, before we get caught!" she rebuked him, finally coming across whatever she was looking for. "Here we go! HI-YA!" she made a fist and punched the ground solidly. A cloud of dirt flew up into the air. Nothing else happened.

Shikamaru blinked.

A dog barked in the distance somewhere.

"Sooo…."

"Shutup! That's what he told me to do. He said punch the seal and the tunnel would open!"

"Your friend is a terrible ninja."

No sooner had he said this than the ground parted beneath his feet and Shikamaru fell soundlessly into the ground. The fall took the wind out of him and he rolled over, trying to catch his breath when suddenly, the dim light from the stars ten feet above blotted out and two feet landed solidly in his gut.

"OOOF!"

"Shit!"

Shikamaru wheezed loudly, trying to draw breath against the weight on his stomach but could not.

"Shit! Sorry!" Jada apologized belatedly, climbing off of him and he sucked in a huge lungful of air, rolling to the side and trying to regain feeling in his body.

After several seconds, he was able to move and he felt something else returning as well. A sensation that he hadn't felt since entering this twisted hell almost three days ago. Chakra flowed through his veins. Darkness surrounded him, shadow provided from the soft starlight above. His eyes rose to meet Jada's slender form kneeling beside him and he realized that here, ten feet underground, he could kill her without breaking a single sweat and escape with no one the wiser. Closing the hole would be easy and no one would even know of its existence, save one insignificant ninja.

His hands were moving of their own accord, moving to perform a shadow stitching when Jada's fingers suddenly touched his cheek. Her mouth closed around his and his chakra flow faltered as his concentration effectively ended.

He closed his eyes as she kissed him and forgot his thoughts of escape before…

WHAM!

"Come on, Shika, breathe!"

WHAM!

"Breathe dammit!"

WHAM!

"OW! OW! OW! I'm breathing!" Shikamaru protested, "I'm not dead!"

"Oh. I thought I might have killed you," Jada replied conversationally, as if that were normal in her daily routine.

"Kami, no," Shikamaru muttered, turning to move down the tunnel on his hands and knees. "I just wish this would end."

"I know, right?" Jada replied absently. "This tunnel is fucking _long_. I'll tell Darui not to overdo it next time."

Shikamaru blinked, though it wasn't visible in the dark. "Did you say Darui? As in _the_ Darui? The lieutenant of the Kumogakure army Darui?"

"Yeah. He's my ex. I dated him for a while, but he was too serious for me. And I found out I _really_ can't stand being called dull. We're just friends now."

Shikamaru groaned. He was traversing a tunnel made by one of the strongest ninjas in recent Kumo history escaping from Kumo prison for _one_ night to date the warden so she could decide if he were trustworthy to release permanently or not. The only good thing was that he officially crossed out one of the questions from earlier.

It definitely _was _one of the strangest situations in the known universe. The next obvious question was, of course, was it _real?_

"What the _fuck_ is going on?" he demanded, just about losing it.

"Keep moving, Shogi-boy," Jada said, ignoring his question completely and poking him hard in the rear. "Your butt's a great target from this angle."

His quiet scream of frustration was almost too loud in the small tunnel and Shikamaru darted forward, traversing the last thirty feet or so in record time. He emerged from the hole on the other side of the fence, surrounded by dense foliage

Jada climbed out a minute later, smirking. "Didn't know you could move that fast just cause your butts in jeopardy Shika- MMF!"

A large hand clamped around her mouth in mid-sentence and she was yanked forcefully to her feet, a kunai pressed to her throat.

"Choji!" Shikamaru eclaimed, genuinely surprised to see his large friend and mortified at what he was doing, despite how hypocritical it sounded in his mind, considering his thoughts from just a moment ago.

"Choji, no!"

The chuunin hesitated, then lowered the kunai, but he did not release her.

"Kami, Choji, she was busting me _out_."

"Shikamaru!" Choji whispered back. "You don't know what's going on. She's the _warden!_"

"I know!" he replied fiercely. "Let her go!"

"No, you don't get it!" Choji continued, now kneeling to avoid being spotted, and looking around for any signs of trouble. "We've got to get out of here. _It's a_ _trap!_"

Shikamaru blinked in confusion. Of everything that was going on, that actually made less sense than anything he'd been through in the last few days. "No, Choji, it's not, I promise. It looks one way, but really its…well, I can't really explain it here. Just let her go, trust me."

"Shikamaru, I trust you, but you don't _know _what we _know._ You haven't _seen_ what we've _seen_! Darui made this hole himself! Why would _he_ bust _you_ out of a Kumo prison when you were caught on an intelligence mission?"

Shikamaru honestly could not believe he was having this conversation with Choji of all people. "Why would they go through _all this _to trap someone who was already in their _own prison?_" he retorted. Choji froze, the wheels of logic coming to a screeching halt in his mind. Jada mumbled something from behind his hand that sounded vaguely like "Ant Freive" and Choji finally released her.

"Thank _god!" _she gasped, staggering toward Shikamaru. "Who are you anyway? Your hands smell like salami!"

"Jada, this is Choji," Shikamaru said quickly, grimacing all the while. "Choji, meet Jada. She was _not_ trying to kill me, she was taking me out on a date to see if I was trustworthy enough to release."

"Shikamaru!" Choji moaned, squinting his eyes shut and shaking his head vigorously. "That doesn't make any SENSE!"

The shadow-nin opened his mouth to argue, but could find no desire to combat that statement anywhere within himself. "I know," he said lamely. "I'm kind of weirded out too, but just go with it okay? Who else is here?"

Choji looked as if he were having a panic attack, with his gut instinct conflicting with his absolute trust of his best friend. "Just me and Ino. We heard you were captured and we double-timed it out here to rescue you before the execution and-"

"Wait, wait, wait…" Shikamaru held up a hand. "_Execution? EXECUTION?"_

"Yeah, they announced that they'd captured a high-ranking Nara and he'd be executed in four days if Konoha didn't hand over one hundred thousand ryo and at least one secret Jutsu."

"Wow!" Jada exclaimed, clearly surprised and looking at Shikamaru in wonder. "You're worth all that?"

"They let Choji and Ino go by themselves to rescue me, didn't they?" he muttered.

"Oh."

There was a profound silence between the three of them for a moment as Shikamaru contemplated his relative worth to Konoha, Jada contemplated his relative worth to Kumo and Choji contemplated the next time he'd find a sandwich.

"We should get moving," Choji began impatiently. "This isn't the time or place to discuss such things."

"Better over a sandwich, right?" Shikamaru asked bitterly, standing with a morose expression.

"I know a good sandwich place at least," Jada offered, looking slightly disappointed.

"Lead the way," Choji agreed, suddenly all smiles.

* * *

><p><em>Next chappie is already written. it's coming right behind this one. :)<em>


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Here's Chapter 4. Almost complete! Hope you like it!_

* * *

><p>Chapter 4<p>

"I don't trust her," Ino growled as Shikamaru finished his explanation. "That story doesn't even make _sense_ Shika. Not to mention she doesn't even _look_ like a warden. Plus, what kind of warden breaks you _out _of her _own _prison."

Jada seethed, mumbling incoherently against the gag that Choji had stuffed in her mouth. Choji stood dutifully behind her, holding her arms firmly behind her back. The genius sighed and looked at Ino intently, wondering what her motives were. Ino's own gaze was not resting on him, but rather scrutinizing the other girl's black catsuit with the utmost disdain.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Can't say I didn't see _this_ coming," he muttered.

"What did you say?" Ino leapt toward him and grabbed his collar, incensed. "Don't even _think_ I'm overreacting, you spiky-headed, arrogant, little jerk! I am NOT! I'm just the only one of you three that has any good _sense!_ These Kumo bastards were gonna execute you, Shika, and you know Tsunade-shishou isn't paying ransoms. She doesn't even pay her gambling debt!"

Shikamaru pushed Ino away gently and nodded. "You're making some sense, I guess, but that doesn't explain everything that's been going on. And it seems like she really _is _the warden, at least. Just a really strange one."

Ino sighed, exasperated and flopped down onto her butt pouting. Shikamaru's eyes immediately scanned the alley they stood in, not far from the prison complex, where Choji had led them after they'd finished their admittedly delicious sandwiches.

"Shika, you're letting your eyes cloud your vision! This isn't some fairy tale where the slutty warden seduces her prisoner and leads him off to live happily ever after! What kind of fairy tale _is _that anyway?"

"MFF!" Jada protested.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes at Ino's exaggeration. "Ino, where did that come from? I'm not trying to romance her, and when did she become slutty?"

Ino looked up quickly, a blush coming to her cheeks. "Well look at her outfit! What kind of self-respecting woman dresses like that, anyway?"

Jada looked furious, glaring daggers at Ino and she stomped hard on Choji's foot with her heel.

"OW!" Choji exclaimed, hopping on his good foot and clutching the offended digit in his hands. "Shikamaru! Stop her!"

Jada had turned on Ino next, leaping toward her, but Ino was a ninja, and not a novice one at that. In a split second, Ino and Jada both froze where they stood, Ino brandishing a kunai at waist height and Jada aiming a solid punch at Ino's jaw.

"Shikamaru…" Ino growled. "I'm _so_ going to kill you for this…"

"Let me _go!" _Jada screeched, apparently having removed the gag from her mouth. "What kind of jutsu is this? I can't MOVE!"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and opened his right fist. Jada's fingers brushed Ino's cheek and the blonde girl's kunai fell to the ground.

"Its called Shadow Possession," Shikamaru explained, relieved to finally be in control of the situation. "And, no, you can't go anywhere unless I say you can. Ino, I'm going to let you go. Why don't you see if she's telling the truth. You can tell better than any of us."

Ino cut her eyes at him, promising a slow and silent death, but her fingers moved in the familiar patterns of Shintenshin no jutsu and her body crumpled to the ground.

"You could have at least caught me, Shika!" She complained from Jada's body.

The genius rolled his eyes and released Jada as well, letting his shadow slink back to its rightful place.

Choji seemed less patient, still rubbing his sore toes. "What's the verdict Ino? You're not in there to role-play."

Ino turned and glared at him through emerald eyes. "Her vision _sucks_," she complained. "Everything is so _dark!"_

"Is this the first time you've possessed a non-ninja at night?" Shikamaru asked dryly.

"Yes."

"Ninja constantly have chakra going through their optical nerves. That makes them much more sensitive and resilient. Is she misleading me or not?"

"And her body is so _soft!" _ Ino continued. "You always make fun of me and say I have a civilian body, Shika, but I _really_ don't. She's like…made of putty or something." Ino poked at one of her new body's breasts experimentally and Shikamaru fought a surge of annoyance and lost.

"INO! COME ON!"

"Fine, fine," she scowled and closed her eyes. "She's…telling the truth," Ino muttered grudgingly, forming a hand-seal and cancelling the jutsu.

She sat up from where her body had fallen as Jada fell now, disoriented from the two forms of possession she'd just endured. "What…just happened?" she murmured.

"I guess you guys can relax now?" Shikamaru said hopefully. "I'll meet you back here in a few hours."

Ino's disapproving look spoke volumes, but Shikamaru was never one to do what others wanted of him. He strode off into the street with Jada trailing dazedly behind.

"So…was that ninjutsu you just used on me?"

"Yup."

"And the girl? The mean one? Her too?"

"Yup."

"So how come I'm not…like…dead?"

Shikamaru finally slowed his brutal pace away from the alley just enough to let Jada catch up. To her credit she wasn't winded at all. She had to have some sort of regular exercise to be in respectable shape, though as Ino pointed out, ninja endured much more than 'regular exercise.'

"Not all jutsu is meant to kill. In fact, there's not too many ninjutsu that will kill outright, unless you hit the exact right spot. Ino and I…our specialties are best in delaying tactics and espionage."

Jada frowned. "And isn't it against some kind of clan rule to tell me this stuff? Darui couldn't ever tell me about his techniques."

Shikamaru shook his head as Jada directed him into a small restaurant.

"Nah," he replied, waving a hand dismissively. "Every bingo book in your country has at least that much information. I won't be telling you any more though."

"It must suck that your country doesn't think you're worth a hundred grand and one jutsu."

Shikamaru froze in his tracks, astonished that the girl had just trod upon the tiny smidgeon of ego he allowed himself to keep.

"We have a policy," He replied stiffly.

"Sure. Policy schmolicy. I've seen ninja get ransomed before. Only when they're really _valuable _though. Like generals and stuff."

Shikamaru's eyes narrowed. "I was the proxy general for the Second Division in the Fourth World War," He allowed a touch of pride into his voice at this, even though he'd told Ino he resented the station time and time again. "We have a _policy_."

"And a Hokage who'd rather rack up gambling debt."

Shikamaru shot her a dry glare. "You just heard Ino say that."

"Doesn't make it untrue."

Shikamaru had nothing to say to this and simply sat at one of the tables, resting his chin grumpily in the palm of his hand.

Jada matched his pose, a smile adorning her lips and he felt his eyebrow twitching in annoyance.

"How much information do you need from me anyway?" Shikamaru asked, without taking his gaze from the container of wasabi in front of him. "You're not exactly milking me for my country's secrets."

"Oh, I don't care about your country, Shika. I wanna get to know you. Before…you know." Her eyes turned sad at this and for the first time her gaze faltered, and she joined him in examining the bottle.

The genius 'hmphed' and rolled his eyes.

"Its ok, though," she said quickly, her voice resuming its usual, boisterous quality. "I don't expect a super-hard serial killer ninja to understand anyway. It'd be nice to have a real friend though."

Now it was Shikamaru's turn to sigh heavily. "I'm not a serial killer, okay?" he heard his voice rise just a smidgeon and found himself surprised. Why had that upset him? Why did he care what this one, crazy girl thought of him?

"And I know all about having real friends. I…guess I didn't really think about your situation too much. Its gotta be lonely sometimes, right? Having inmates for company."

Jada smiled ruefully. "I liked playing sports a lot when mom was still alive." Her voice wavered only slightly when she mentioned her mother and Shikamaru took note of it.

"That's when your childhood pretty much ended, huh?"

Jada nodded sadly as a harried looking waitress appeared beside them, glanced skeptically, at Shikamaru's ragged attire and then asked them what they wanted to drink.

It was a busy night in the restaurant for some reason the genius couldn't fathom and they both settled for only water. Looking grateful, the waitress rushed away, hurrying to another table without pause.

"Er…what's…going on tonight? Why are there so many couples out?" Shikamaru asked. It was becoming far too common of him to ask for answers rather than find them on his own, but it seemed that the people he'd made acquaintance with had no qualms about answering whatever he wished.

"Oh," Jada smiled coyly, looking around at the crowd. Roughly half of them were couples of all ages, some barely teenagers and one old pair that made Tsunade seem young by comparison. "You're really observant, you know. There's a holiday here. Nothing official, like a get-off-of-work-holiday, but a minor one where you and a special someone…go and have a romantic night…or something."

Shikamaru blinked and one look at Jada's hopeful expression confirmed his suspicions.

"I'm honored," he said dryly, but a smirk lit the corner of his mouth. This girl was nothing if not sneaky, and it was refreshing actually. All of the women he knew were ninja, and while, logically, it followed that they would thusly be eternally sneaky, Shikamaru had long since learned not to assume that women would follow any logical pattern.

It seemed to him that doing a job that normally required the utmost stealth found ninja women 'all sneaked out' once it came to private matters. They were normally quite brutish and forceful beyond that. Ino, Temari, Sakura, Anko and Tsunade all fit the pattern and the list went on and on.

"It was the best I could do," Jada protested. "Otherwise I'd have spent another Partner's Day filling out requisitions for prisoner transfers or something."

Shikamaru frowned slightly. "Why Partner's Day?"

She blinked once before realizing that he was questioning the name itself and not her reasoning for the date.

"Oh. Well, most civil unions here are really spur of the moment, since it's a ninja village. Most people just settle for being domestic partners rather than actually marrying, since that usually ends with a widow or widower. It's sad, but that's life, really."

The foreigner frowned, looking up as their waitress returned. Jada ordered their food, since, to her dismay, he had refused to even look a t the menu and she bustled away again.

"What about you?" Shikamaru asked quickly, picking at a small packet of sugar now balanced between his thumb and forefinger. He twirled it experimentally. "Are you a marriage or domestic partner type?"

Jada smiled at this and held up a hand. "I don't give up _anything _unless there's a ring on this finger."

Shikamaru smiled ruefully, thinking back to his few encounters with Temari. "There's a lot of women that should take some lessons from you."

"What's that mean?" Jada asked, narrowing her eyes. "I don't judge what ninja women do. They live a different life than I do."

Shikamaru didn't reply to that and she looked down at her hand before glancing up at him, slowly once again, as if unsure of her next few words. "What about you? That umm…what's her name? Pig-girl?"

Shikamaru laughed aloud at this. "Ino," he corrected. "And don't let her catch you saying that. She'll walk you off a cliff." He hesitated though, before continuing. "No. She's my friend. My childhood teammate. I've known her since I was old enough to walk."

"She likes you," Jada said guardedly. "That much was obvious."

Shikamaru shook his head. "Nah. She just doesn't trust you. She's nice, once you get to know her."

Jada rolled her eyes. "I've heard _that _one before. But okay, don't say I didn't warn you."

Shikamaru looked up from his rapidly spinning sugar packet. "What makes you so sure?" he asked, leaning forward.

"Shikamaru!" Choji's voice interrupted from the window next to them.

The shadow-nin nearly leapt out of his chair. "Damn, Choji. How much did you hear?"

"Enough," he replied vaguely. "But we've got to run. There's a riot going on at the prison. A bunch of prisoners are trying to escape and security's all over it. Its our best chance to get out without being noticed."

Shikamaru glanced at Jada who was staring sadly at the duo. "Go ahead," she murmured softly, " I kind of knew it would end this way."

He nodded, feeling his stomach turn in his gut and disappeared with a body flicker, following Choji into the night.

The waitress returned with two plates of food, but faltered when she saw Shikamaru's empty seat and Jada's forlorn expression. She set down Jada's food without a word and returned to the kitchen with the other plate.

Jada picked at it for a moment before slapping a bill on the table and steeling herself for another lonely sunrise.

They were nearly out of the village when they met up with Ino. Still moving quickly, quietly, two hooded men adopted a third, smaller traveler into their ranks. They passed gate customs with ease, the fake passports Ino had provided not even getting a curious look.

Once they were out of eyesight of the village, the three tossed the cloaks off their heads and burst into laughter. Choji fell beside a rock, still holding his sides with the outpouring of mirth and relief that the trio still remained whole.

Ino sat beside him, one hand on her stomach and the other trying in vain to cover the relieved smile she wore. Shikamaru just leaned against a tree, reaching into a pocket to grab a cigarette he'd lifted from an inobservant convenience store on their way out. His own smile was bittersweet however, and he inhaled deeply, letting the nicotine wash the stress away.

Their laughter died down and Choji sighed contentedly, glancing at Ino. "I can't believe we got him out."

Ino closed her eyes momentarily, sighing heavily. "Yeah. I was worried for a minute when we found the chakra fields around the prison. And with only a day to get you out before…"

"Execution," Choji finished. "HA! As if!"

"Yeah," Shikamaru agreed halfheartedly, not wanting to think of how close he'd come to that particular end. "They didn't even tell me that was going to happen. Well, one of the prisoners did, anyway. But I thought he was lying. He _did_ say that riot was going to be tomorrow…"

Choji blinked. "Wait a minute…"

Ino's eyebrows disappeared into her blond bangs. "You knew about the riot?"

"Please, Ino, he probably planned it! Right, Shikamaru? In case you couldn't just convince the warden to break you out! Brilliant!"

Shikamaru shook his head. "Guys, I didn't plan any of that. Jada let me out because…because I asked her to. The prisoner-Aruza was his name- he planned the riot himself."

Choji laughed weakly, but Ino's expression was of pure shock. "Did you say 'Aruza'?" she practically whispered, now deathly serious. Shikamaru nodded slowly. "Know him?"

Ino shook her head. "I only know _of_ him. My dad fought him once, in the third World War. He says he's the only man who ever broke out of Shintenshin by himself. It _can't_ be him though. He was supposed to have died forever ago."

Shikamaru fell silent, processing this information. "Advisor to the Raikage? Fell out of favor?"

"Demoted, put on the front lines," Ino recited. "My dad possessed him on the battlefield but he got away. Not before Dad got info about all their weapon storage facilities though. He basically lost them that theatre of the war."

"And he landed in prison for life as a result," Choji finished, looking between them. "And now he's breaking out?"

"With one thing on his mind," Shikamaru continued. "Revenge. That's why he knew who I was. He's probably got it out for every Yamanaka, Akimichi and Nara."

The three reluctantly turned back toward Kumogakure peering up the mountain trail with a sinking feeling in each of their guts.

"Well," Choji said, standing. "Guess we'd better finish what our fathers started."

"Are you kidding?" Ino asked. "We don't know what he's capable of! We're in foreign territory with no backup and he got away from all three of our fathers who were _jonin_ at the time. We should go back and warn them."

"Ino. Choji."

The two looked up at Shikamaru as he crushed the butt of his cigarette underfoot. "You think he's more dangerous than Hidan and Kakuzu? Tougher than Asuma? Better than those two Jinchuuriki brothers?"

Choji clenched his fist and held it out. "No way. He's been rotting in prison for twenty years."

Ino smiled, looking at her teammates. "I'm pretty sure I'm better than my dad ever was, anyway."

Shikamaru exhaled the last breath of smoke in his lungs and started back up the path. "Good. Lets kick his ass."

"SHIKAMARU!" Choji complained. "We were supposed to fist bump!"

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><p><em>AN: Chapter 5 (the final chapter) is in the works. hoping to finish soon! Until then,  
><em>

_Papperazzi 0uT!_

l  
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